The Journey // Long Distance
Hello hello,
It’s been quite some time since I wrote here personally, so today I’m taking a break from my daily rituals in order to spend some time with you guys. Initially, this blog was a project to expand my writing, entertain readers, and talk and give insight. I hope my short stories and the few quotes I share have entertained you guys. But I been recently contemplating how I can expand my blog. Ultimately, I want this blog to be some sort of retreat for the lonely heart. This in return brought up the idea I always wanted to do: answering questions about love, relationship, and life. Though I cannot say I’m a professional or well versed in the books relating to such problems, I am quite confident in bringing different perspectives which could help, but this requires participation on you guys. I hope you guys can send me topics or problems that I can discuss. I also wish you guys can refer this blog to your friends or ask questions in behalf of them. I need help molding LostintheMail, and I hope you guys can contribute.
The second part of this entry. I do have a topic I been wanting to discuss, long distance relationships (LDR’s). I don’t condone it nor completely support it, but personally, I would not do it, mainly because I feel it should leave it for my wife. There isn’t much left saved for our life partners these days, an LDR would be something I would save and say I’m capable to do so for my life parter.
For any one who ran cross country or ran a marathon, they can easily understand the level of preparation, dedication, focus, and some level faith or insanity in order to succeed. It is very fitting to relate Long Distance Relationships to Long Distance Running. Running miles upon miles is not only grueling on the body but also incredibly draining on the mind. LDR’s are no different.
Running 15 miles straight for the first time is difficult to say the very least. Most are not able to run all those miles initially at least not on their first try. It takes training. You start out small. At first its just one mile; then it’s two. Then you find different techniques that maximize the run. Hydration, diet, and proper shoes all become increasingly important. It add’s a few more miles to your run. The real preparation begins when you train your mind that you’re not tired and you’re capable of doing it. More often then not it’s a runner’s mind tells him to quit rather than a runner’s body though the body will quit if pushed to the brink. LDR’s require the same amount of preparation. Relationships are fragile things to begin with and adding distance can only add strain. Preparing for an LDR starts off with both partners deciding that they both want it. Doubt of actually being able to do it is okay. No one can be certain they’ll be able to complete a 15 mile run since so many things can go wrong. If your body doesn’t give in, your mind will. The most important thing is that both partners want it, desire it, and value it. This will be the backbone of the maintaining a health LDR. Communication and honesty is needed to see each other’s expectations and concerns of the LDR. The next part of the preparation is accepting change and preparing different outlets to maintain the connection and intimacy that is needed to keep a relationship healthy. It may be scheduling Skype dates, phone calls, or writing letters to each other. Strengthening trust is incredibly important. Jealousy and an LDR is an easy recipe for disaster. Though you can’t be completely be prepared for the hardships that an LDR will entail, the little preparation that is done will allow you to be more equipped when surprises occur, and there will be surprises.
Having an LDR is like having two relationships, you’re not committing just to your partner but also the distance in itself. You need to learn to find the good in distance among all the bads. It is time to work on projects left uncompleted, self-growth, and self-discovery, but you must be dedicated to the idea, to distance, and to your partner. Without dedication and focus, anyone can lose sight of even the most important things in life including Love. LDR’s are exhausting. The little comforts we’re accustomed to when in a relationship are gone. As one of my friends once said, LDR’s - you get the worse aspect of being in a relationship and being single. You have all the struggles of being in a relationship but without any of the comforts and security. You have all the free time of being single but no way to fill the loneliness. Just like after running a few miles, your body becomes to weak, you begin to thirst, and you start doubting if you can actually do it. You want to quit, and there’s so many miles left to run. This is where you need to remember that you wanted it, both of you guys wanted it. You prepared yourself for this. You knew it was going to hard and may even experience moments when you began to think it was too hard, but you have to remember that you wanted it. You dedicated yourself to this and you need to refocus on the most important thing of an LDR, Love. You have focus on matters that matter most and that is Love. You can’t focus and dwell on the difficulties. When it comes to running even if you’re body is still able to do it, if you’re mind says to quit, you’re going to quit. It is the same with Love. Even if you’re heart is still able to continue, if you’re mind tells you to quit , you’re going to quit. Remember that the distance isn’t forever, you’ll end back in your lover’s arms. Stay dedicated. Stay focused.
How does one stay so focused and dedicated. Ultimately, you just have to have faith. You have to believe that all the work, the struggles, and the loneliness is worth it. The Love you have with this person is greater than all. I don’t need to talk much about faith for it is intrinsic within all of us. Just belief and keep believing in the plan. Happiness is right at your hands. Just remember that you have to always work for it. You’ll have to choose Love over and over again. LDR’s are just another test or part of the process of finding happiness and maintaing Love. If you can’t do an LDR, accept it. Don’t fight it. Don’t test the distance, it’ll win. Test Destiny. If its him/her, then all the roads will lead back to him/her. In the end, all we can do is believe in Love and that we’ll all find it regardless if you go through an LDR or not.
